The Weight of Being Confirmed

The weekend we were to be confirmed was a big deal. We gathered on

Friday and picked wildflowers and decorated the church. The stone walls in that church were very thick so the window ledges were very wide and we put the flowers in those ledges in the shape of the year, 1937. Some of our dads had cut young birch branches and these were put up along the aisles and up around the altar. Then on Saturday, we all went into church because that was the day of our examination. As usual, we sat boys on one side and girls on the other side and the girls wore white, long-sleeved dresses, white stockings, and white shoes and the boys wore dark suits. The pastor called up half a dozen of us at a time and asked up questions. Everybody was asked at least one question, sometimes more. I don't know that anyone was refused confirmation because they couldn't answer the question correctly but that was the fear. After this question period, the pastor gave a speech to us. Amongst other things, I remember him saying that now people will look at us as adults and from now on, we were responsible for our own actions. I thought that was pretty severe and I wasn't sure I was ready. We had the neatest pastor; his name was David Myrgård. He was smart and had

charisma; he liked people and there wasn't one person who he couldn't talk to. He simplified things and put himself down in other people's position, rather than talking over people. His wife Tyra was very well liked too. She took part in all activities in the church. They had four children too, Bengt, Karin, and twins, Crister and Cristina.

Well, then we come to Sunday. Of course I was all dressed in my finery and I had my new summer coat on. All the Bobergs were going to church and for some reason it was decided that I was going to ride in on the church bus. I had to walk down to the school to get onto the church bus. When it came, Gunnar Brolin got onto the bus too. We had to go up to where the road goes up to Vimantorp because Gunnar Carlsson's mother AnnSofie was going to go on the bus. Then we waited and waited and waited some more. Then the driver said, "If I'm going to get there on time, I can't wait any longer." Then we heard the rattle of wagon wheels up the road and here came Gunnar driving the horses as fast as he dared with the old woman hopping about on the wagon seat. "Vi var ente fäärdig föör," she said in sort of a dialect way. ("We didn't get ready on time.") So she got on and the bus driver went as fast as he possibly dared.

When we came around the bend where we could see the church, there were the confirmands all lined up, girls first and then boys, and they were waiting for the pastor to come and lead them into church. Gunnar Brolin did me a favor that time because he told the driver, "You stop right here and let Gun off! Then you can go park and let all the other people off." I rushed up to my place and just as I got there, they started to march into the church. First it was a regular service and then we had our first communion, girls first and then boys.

After that, we sat back down and the whole experience started to get to me. It was such a special moment. I felt so inadequate to make my own decisions and be responsible for my own things. I started to weep where I sat. Tears just rolled down my cheeks. The girl next to me said, "What are you crying for? It's almost over!" Well, to me, it wasn't an ending of something. To me, it was a new beginning and something I wasn't 100% sure I could handle. But I put my shoulders back and pulled myself together and stopped crying before we walked out of the church.

I don't know why Mom looks so unhappy in this picture, whether it was the weight of new responsibility or her continuing dislike of photographers!